Social Media During a Divorce

Social media has become a big part of the lives of many people over the last decade. We use it to stay in contact with friends and family and to celebrate milestones, stay in touch with family and friends, and to express grief. However, there is one time when the use of social media can be very problematic, and that is when you are going through a divorce. Here are some rules that are good to follow regarding the use of social media during a divorce:

Remember, nothing online is truly private

I have been amazed at the things people say on social media during a divorce. They announce they are engaged (while still married), announce they or their significant other is pregnant, make negative statements about the court system or the judge or make statements about drug use. Assume any such statements are going to be found by your spouse, or his or her lawyer, and presented to the judge in the divorce trial. Even if your accounts are private, this type of information can get out and be used against you.

Do not make derogatory statements about your spouse on social media during a divorce, especially if you have children together.

While your spouse may have acted inappropriately, anything you say on social media can be used against you. Judges do not like spouses making derogatory statements about each other during the divorce process. Further, there may be legal prohibitions depending on what you post and where you post it. In Tennessee, when a divorce is filed, there are temporary injunctions put in place that prohibit making derogatory statements about your spouse either in the presence of the children or to the spouse’s employer. Children have access to social media and employers certainly do also. Do not risk the other party making arguments that you violated the temporary injunction by making any derogatory statements online about your spouse during the divorce process. Additionally, in Tennessee, one factor a court can consider in determining custody is which parent is more likely to foster a good relationship between the child and the other parent. Evidence of derogatory comments online about your spouse may cause a judge to question whether you will be able to coparent.

Do not post stories or pictures of parties, dates, get-togethers or trips with others unless you want those individuals to become a part of your divorce.

Imagine if you are going through a divorce and are asking for alimony and your spouse presents the judge with a picture of you on the beach with friends on a recent trip. While you may be able to explain that “I did not pay for the trip,” or “the trip was already planned when the divorce was filed” the optics do not look good. An innocent dinner with someone of the opposite sex who is just a friend could be presented to the court (maybe falsely) as evidence that you are on a date. It simply is better not to post these types of things during a divorce.

Assume everything you post is being read by a judge

A good rule of thumb when deciding if and what to post on social media in a divorce is to ask yourself “if the Judge reads what I am about to post, will it help or hurt my divorce case.” Unless the answer is that it will help, no not post it. If you follow this simple rule, your social media is unlikely to be evidence used against you at trial.